and my knack for emotionally cutting myself to death practically everyday. 

Jealousy. 

I fucking hate it. 

I get jealous over the guys I have no reason to be jealous over. 

I don’t get jealous over the guys I have EVERY reason to be jealous over. 

I’m realizing something about myself all too quickly …… I’m in denial. 

I’m in denial about my feelings and could even go down to being in denial as to who I am. 

I start liking a really great guy that would never do anything to anyone ….. and I’m more jealous over stupid Facebook posts from his stupid fucking ex-girlfriend, than I would be jealous over a dirty latin gangster hipster that has probably slept his way through Williamburg and LES. 

Why is that? 

Did I know deep down that the gangster hipster and I would never work out? Not really …. I remember him just treating me really well and making me feel like I was the only one in his life. He brought me around his friends and I was in his life and that’s all. 

But the nice guys treat me just as well … probably (okay most likely) even better. BUT YET HERE I AM FREAKING OUT OVER NOTHING!!!!

I’m creating a website today ……. it’s called The Advisor. It tells you the advice you’re telling yourself but not listening to because … it’s coming from you. 

So you type in a question like ….. Should I be worried his ex-girlfriend posted on his Facebook wall about crap I won’t mention here because I don’t want someone to know I’m talking about them or not?????

And the website would advise …… No. You should not. You should, as quickly as possible, do something extraordinary like go spend $400 shopping or eat or read a book or go talk to people in Union Square or see how fast you can go home and get back to your office using public transportation or ride the bus all the way up town and then all the way back downtown photographing every block. ANYTHING JUST DO ANYTHING AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER AND FORGET YOU EVER SAW THAT STUPID CRAP THAT YOU DON’T WANT TO MENTION ON HERE BECAUSE YOU DON’T WANT SOMEONE TO KNOW YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT THEM OR NOT. Just back away now … oh and NEVER EVER UNDER ANY FUCKING CIRCUMSTANCE EVER GO BACK TO HIS FACEBOOK WALL. FOR FOREVER. Trust me … this is my job and I know this is the answer for you …. just do this and all will be okay. Ready … set …. go ……….